An emotional vampire is not a clinical term. Still, I bet you’ve encountered some along the way. Emotional vampires have a constant need for validation; they tend to operate primarily on the belief that problems are not their fault, they tend to have very little self-awareness, and if you dare point out how they’ve hurt you or others, they are very likely to use extreme language to play the victim. For example, after you point out what they’ve done is hurtful, they might say something along the lines of, “Oh, I guess I’m the worst person ever then,” or “Oh, I guess you hate me now.” Because again, they are avoiding responsibility and seeking validation.
Emotional vampires are draining to be around. They can exhaust you because being around them is literally like trying to pour liquid into a bottomless cup; nothing is ever enough for them, and they have a seemingly endless source of excuses for the harm they cause. Frighteningly, one of the most dangerous weapons emotional vampires have in their arsenal is the ability to make you feel like you’re the one who’s doing something wrong; so even though you might not be able to identify a real emotional vampire by good looks or sharp teeth, you can identify them by paying attention to how you feel around them. The more you’re around them, the more emotionally drained you’ll feel.
Although you cannot wear garlic to rid yourself of emotional vampires, there is something that you can do to protect yourself: You can avoid giving your energy to them. The more you stay in control of your energy, the less emotional vampires will seek to feed on you. However, it’s very important to understand this: When you first begin to take back your power from emotional vampires, they will do everything they can to get you back under their spell. They will pour on more guilt, more anger, and utilize more extreme language when describing how you’re the one to blame for their behavior. They will emotionally do whatever they can to get you back under their control. But the more you remain firm in not giving them your power, the sooner they will look to other sources of emotions to drain than yours.
Emotional vampires are real, but so, too, is your ability to not give away your emotional energy to them.