The Fly in the Window: When the Help We Want Isn’t the Help We Need

Although there was butter on the table and frosting on the uncovered cupcakes a few feet away, the fly banged again and again frantically off the window, desperately wanting out. A passerby noticed the plight of the fly, and causally opened the window for the little creature to give him the freedom he desired. Unfortunately for the fly, the moment his wish was granted and the window was opened, he flew straightaway into a spider’s web that had been built just outside the window…. 

Sometimes the help we want is not the help we need. 

When we’re struggling, we often believe that we know what is best for ourselves; but the truth is, in the midst of struggling, we can be blinded by what will bring us immediate, albeit temporary, relief. All too often, the help we want is to be enabled to have more of what will help us in the short term; but the help that we need, or that which is best for us, is oftentimes to not get what we want in the moment. Like the fly, we are often panicked about getting the solution our heart is set on, when in reality, it is wiser to step back and see the bigger picture. 

In your own life, ask yourself what help you are seeking. Do you look for answers that confirm what you already know? Do you ask for the type of help that will give you short term relief but cause you long term harm? If you do either of those, it might be worth being mindful and stepping back to see the bigger picture. It might also be worth letting go of any attachment you might have to being right, and really open yourself up to taking in information from others. Sometimes, it’s too hard to see the webs that are waiting for us just beyond what we want.